Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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