Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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