They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
