Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
True college students do jello shots in the library
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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