may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
