um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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