o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
