Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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