The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
The cops high fived after they tackled you
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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