Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
