summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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