i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
