the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
A bitchslap is in order.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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