OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
