Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
