He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
