what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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