How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
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i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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