Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
