she smelled like a LAN party
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
