dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
no. you can't hotbox the world.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
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Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
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I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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