Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
