I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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