I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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