I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
