How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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