is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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