It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
