Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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