But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
