did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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