Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Randomize
