I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
