Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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