carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
