party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
