so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
