This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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