I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
