it wasn't lemon gatorade
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Randomize
