She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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