i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
