garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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