Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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