Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
