She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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