I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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