So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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