Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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