my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
