somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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