you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
