get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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