I can text with my tongue
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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