Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
