she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
