btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
