my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
