I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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