just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
