Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
